


How To Be Liberated From JJ

by Crazigurl181818



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Gen, Humor, JJ why are you like this, everyone just wants to be free
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-09-09 12:36:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8890978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crazigurl181818/pseuds/Crazigurl181818
Summary: JJ is confused and a little bit scared, the other skaters just want some peace.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Translations are at the end. Don't worry, you're not really supposed to know what they're saying until the end. It's not important.

    JJ struts down the streets of Barcelona, a smile on his face and his fiancé on his arm. He's made it. He is part of the Grand Prix Final. Not that there were ever any doubts, mind you. He wears only a light jacket in this weather, the cold nothing compared to his Canadian hometown frigidity. He sees Yuri Plisetsky and his coach, Yavo or something along those lines, and is about to call out to him when he remembers the first time he had tried to speak with the short boy. His smile fades slightly, and the memories wash over him.

 

* * *

 

It had been back home, after Skate Canada. Yuri didn’t seem like the type to socialize with other skaters, but he had been caught up in the rush and was swept out the door with the other competitors as they went to dinner. JJ had watched him go, screeching, and decided to follow. He was a few minutes behind the group, because he had to give his adoring fans the attention they deserved, but he knew how to find them, so he wasn’t worried. One check of instagram told him where he needed to go, and it was within walking distance, so he waved off his coach and set off down the snowy road.

 

The group was at a restaurant he frequented, as it was close to the rink. He hummed merrily to himself as he walked, avoiding icy spots and kicking at the snow drifts. Soon, he was inside the restaurant.

 

It was a charming little place with a cozy atmosphere and good food. The lights were a golden yellow and the air was rich with the scent of maple and bacon. It wasn’t hard to spot the other skaters, being the biggest group in the joint, and he put on a grin before sauntering over to them. He thought he caught some words of what they were saying, something about the food they were going to order, but as he got closer, he realized that he didn’t recognize any of the words the other skaters were saying, at all. His grin fell off his face, and he tilted his head to the side in confusion, wondering what was going on. He was no language expert, but there were definitely more than 2 being spoken at the table. That would have made some sense, as there were some skaters from the same country present, but those skaters...were not talking to each other.

 

Emil was happily chatting away to an uncaring Yuri, who occasionally rolled his eyes at whatever Emil was saying. Leo, a young skater from France, seemed to be in deep discussion with two of China’s skaters, Huan Jin and Cheng. Suddenly, Cheng seemed to notice JJ standing there, perplexed.

 

He smiled and said 「与我们坐下。」

 

JJ opened his mouth to respond, but didn’t really know what to say. Then Leo noticed that Cheng’s attention was elsewhere, and smiled at JJ, too.

 

«Pourquoi est-ce que vous êtes ici?» he asked, and dammit all, but JJ was NOT from Québec.

 

Sure he knew some French, but Leo had a weird accent and he was speaking way too fast. JJ looked around at the others for help, but Yuri just stared and Emil was checking his nails.

“Um…” he started, “I’m just gonna...go, then.”

 

And he bolted out of the restaurant, away from whatever the hell that had been.

 

* * *

 

JJ shakes himself of his memories and looks down at his fiance, away from Yuri Plisetsky. She is perfect. They are definitely going to get married after this competition is over. He sees the ring he bought her sparkle in the glow coming from the shops around them, her hand resting delicately on his arm, and it brings the smile back to his face. He abides by his impulse to place a kiss on her head, and leans down a bit to nestle it into her hair.

 

She looks up at him and smiles back, pearly teeth shining through ruby-painted lips. Ahh, she truly is perfection. She looks away from him, and gasps, giving a little hop in glee. JJ looks around to see what has her so excited, and follows her line of vision to a nut shop. He raises one eyebrow at her enthusiasm for something so...trivial, but shrugs it off. If she wants to be excited about nuts, who is he to stop her?

 

She starts off in the direction of the shop, tugging JJ right along. She is, evidently, a woman on a mission. As they get closer, the door opens, and two people step out. These are not just any two people, however. He knows these people, and seeing them brings up more weird memories he’d rather not be thinking about on his date. Yuuri Katsuki and Victor Nikiforov. JJ tries to focus on his girlfriend, but the pair is right in front of them, and he recalls the last time he had seen the two.

 

* * *

 

    It was before the Rostelecom Cup. All of the skaters had arrived and checked into the designated hotel, and some of them apparently wanted to relax before going to bed. JJ had been retrieving his luggage from the service that brought it straight to the hotel when he saw a group of his competitors leaving.

 

Once outside, they looked around a bit and seemed to decide to go right. JJ watched them go, then took his bags up to his room. He unpacked his costumes and hung them in the closet, but didn’t bother to take out anything else. He would only be here a few days. No reason he couldn’t live out of his suitcase. With that done, he sat on the bed and realized...he had nothing to do. It was too early to go to sleep, and he wouldn’t understand the Russian television shows.

 

He pouted and fell back on the bed with a fwump. He laid there for a minute, thinking about what he could do, then felt his phone vibrate. He pulled it out of his front pocket, and glanced at the device. It was a text from Isabella, the first half of the message displayed on the homescreen. He swiped at the screen to unlock his phone, and smiled at the message his girlfriend had sent him.

 

“ _Good luck tomorrow!! I know you’ll do great. ^3^ Sorry I couldn’t be there with you, but I send you my love and my spirit! XOXO Love you lots. <3<3” _

 

JJ’s thumbs flew over the screen as he composed a message back, “ _With your support, I’ll skate the best I’ve ever skated! I love you, too. <3<3” _

 

He hit send, and the pop-up where the message had sat was gone. JJ was left looking at his instagram feed. It was reloading, and he decided to leave it open, and surf the app.

 

Finally, the swirling circle went away, and new pictures popped up. The first one was of a friend’s cat. She was all stretched out and falling off the bed she was laying on. JJ chuckled and double tapped the image. Scroll, and a picture of the city lit up in the night, very similar to the view he had when looking out his hotel window. Must be someone from the competition, then. He looked at the username, and recognized it as that of Seung Gil. A double tap and a scroll, and he was looking at a picture that was composed mostly of Sala Crispino’s face. She took up about half of the screen, and the rest of the skaters he had saw leave earlier were behind her. Yuuri, angry Yuri, Victor, Michele, and Emil. Seung Gil was absent, most likely still in his room, based on the photo from earlier. JJ read the comment attached to the picture, “ _Hanging with the crew at Golubka! Food looks good. :D”_ and made his decision.

 

A few minutes later, with some help from the internet, JJ was entering the restaurant. It had wooden floors and wooden tables and black metal chairs. Not the best setting he’d ever seen, but not the worst, either. He immediately located his fellow skaters by the angry growling that could only belong to Yuri, and made his way over to them, waving off the hostess.

 

He snuck up to their table unnoticed, and announced his presence with a loud, “It’s JJ Style!”

 

He had startled Michele, who he was standing behind, and he jumped in his chair. Michele then turned around and said, «Che diavolo?»,a frown marring his brow.

 

Victor had then smiled at him and stated, «Ah, какое прекрасное время, чтобы поесть грибы.»

 

Were they…? Oh God, it was happening again, wasn’t it?

 

Emil slapped a consoling hand on Michele’s shoulder and said, «Neboj se, já vím, jak dělat sýrový.»

 

Michele seemed to consider what Emil had told him, then gave a thumbs up and replied, «Non so chi ha scritto il libro d'amore.»

 

Yuuri looked panicked and waved his hands around at everyone, as if diffusing the situation. 「いいえ、いや、いいえ、それは私たちの人生をもたらす太陽です。」 he said.

 

And...everyone was effectively ignoring him. He glanced at the faces of everyone at the table, and regretted his decision to leave the hotel room. Everyone was saying things he couldn’t understand again. JJ took one step back and declared, “It was nice seeing you all, but I have...something I...have to do. So...JJ out!” And he was gone with the wind.

 

* * *

 

Ugh. That had not been a good time, either. JJ watches the reason for his recall of that day walk away, numerous bags hanging from Yuuri’s arms. Then Isabella was taking his attention again, pulling on his arm because he had paused.

 

“Sorry, sorry,” he said to her questioning look.

 

She just huffed at him, a hint of a smile tugging at her lips, and continued to drag him towards her destination. He chuckled and followed right along.

 

About three hours later, and it’s dinner time. JJ is sick of shopping, and his arms are now laden with bags. But Isabella keeps marching along, carrying a few bags, too. This time, she doesn’t seem to be stopping by any of the stores, though. She keeps on going, past a jewelry store, a boutique, a hat shop and a restaurant that makes his stomach rumble. JJ trudges along after her, then starts to recognize the area they’re in. Ah. So she plans on going back to the hotel. Thank God. JJ doesn’t like to complain, especially about something that his fiance is doing, but his right arm is definitely losing circulation.

 

The trip into the hotel doesn’t take too long. They take the bags to the room, but leave them in a pile in the corner, to deal with later. JJ uses the bathroom, and Isabella takes a turn to freshen up. Makeup reapplied and hair brushed, she emerges, and they head back downstairs to find somewhere to eat. The entire operation doesn’t take more than 30 minutes.

 

The pair takes back to the streets, and they wander around, looking for a place that looks appetizing. One has to be careful with restaurant choosing in foreign countries, JJ had learned early on.

 

They’ve only made it two blocks when JJ is distracted by clapping coming from inside a tent attached to the side of a building, presumably a covered patio. Curious, he peaks in to see what all the fuss is about. Inside, he finds all the skaters competing in the Grand Prix, plus one Victor Nikiforov and two women he doesn’t recognize, and they are all in a tizzy about something. Then he catches the words of Victor, and knows it’s time to take the spotlight. They’ll get married when Yuuri Katsuki wins gold? Oh, no. He pushes aside the flap of the tent, ignoring the suddenly hostile atmosphere, and declares, “WAIT A MINUTE!” Isabella hugs into his side, and JJ puts his arm around her.

 

“I’ll be the one that wins gold and gets married, of course!”

 

Isabella follows his lead, “That’s right. It’ll definitely be JJ.”

 

He nods along. “Sorry we can’t congratulate you on that future marriage.”

 

Victor looks at JJ for a few seconds, then turns to Yuuri. «Вы знаете, что он говорит, Yuuri?»

 

Yuuri pauses for a second, then says to him, 「Hahaha Victor、私はあなたが何を言っているのか分からない」

 

Oh man. Not this again. Isabella looks confused beside him, and he remembers that this is the first time that she’s been subjected to whatever this is.

 

Christophe is ignoring him, and is instead talking to Otabek. “Otabek, vilken är din favoritfärg?”

 

Otabek nods at whatever he said, and replies, «Я на самом деле не нравится стол.»

 

Yuuri perks up at their conversation and throws in, 「みんな、時間を旅行することができます。」

 

Victor smirks beside him and says, «Если бы я попытался действительно трудно, я думаю, что я мог бы стать собакой.»

 

Yuri rolls his eyes at the conversation around him and mutters to the woman next to him, «Все здесь смешно.»

 

The woman looks Asian, but she laughs at whatever Yuri said, and replies, 「Yurio、あなたはとてもかわいいです。」

 

JJ’s head is swimming. He looks around at all of the skaters, hoping for a friendly face, but all he gets is Phichit grinning at him.

 

“คุณชอบที่หนูแฮมสเตอร์ JJ?” he asks.

 

JJ, obviously, doesn’t know how to respond. He doesn’t know what that means. He doesn’t know what any of it means. Why do they do this? And why does it seem like they understand each other?! Are all the other skaters language super-geniuses? Is he the only one that doesn’t know how to speak 10 languages? He glances around the table again, and then turns Isabella away from them. He laughs nervously, and says, “I was joking!” And he is pushing Isabella and they are walking away, and he is never approaching a group of his fellow skaters at a restaurant ever again.

 

* * *

 

A silence reigns over the table for a minute after JJ’s departure, and then it is broken by an unexpected snort. Phichit turns from where he was still looking at the entrance of the tent, and grins at Otabek. Yuri is looking at him with a surprised face, but then he is laughing at his friend, and then the rest of the table joins in. Christophe looks like he can barely breathe, and Yuuri is stifling his giggles behind his hand. The laughter passes, and Phichit looks over the group. “So what were you guys saying?”

 

Christophe leans his chin into his palm and says, “I asked Otabek what his favorite color is.”

 

Otabek looks a little surprised, and replies, “It’s green. But I said that I don’t like desks.”

 

Yuri looks at him with a raised eyebrow. “Is that true?” Otabek shrugs. Yuri continues, “Well, I just stated the facts. You guys are ridiculous.”

 

Victor turns to Yuuri and asks, “What did you say? You looked pretty invested.”

 

A faint blush takes over Yuuri’s cheeks. “I uh...I said that I can travel through time.”

 

Victor chuckles and ruffles his hair. “Don’t be embarrassed. I said that if I tried hard enough, I could probably become a dog.”

 

Phichit giggles at that and adds, “I just asked JJ if he likes hamsters. But I think addressing him was what broke him.” He giggles some more. “He ran away…”

 

Everyone at the table looks at one another and bursts into laughter again. Otabek is the first to recover, and he asks, “So how did this start?” Victor opens his mouth, like he is going to answer, and then closes it, tilting his head to the side and furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. How DID this whole thing start?

 

Of course it’s Phichit who actually remembers, and he launches into the explanation. “Well, we all know that JJ can be a little...insufferable sometimes.” Nods from all around. “So last year, after the Grand Prix, where he placed third, we made a pact. If JJ was ever around and being an idiot, we would start speaking in our native languages, as opposed to English. But we had to act like we knew what the others were saying. It was actually Christophe’s idea, wasn’t it?” He looks to the older man for confirmation, and Christophe nods with a dreamy look on his face.

 

“It was. Best idea I ever had….”

 

Phichit laughs and goes back to his story. “So Christophe told Victor and I about his plan, and I spread it around. But only to skaters, and only verbally. So that’s how we now mess with JJ. It’s pretty great seeing his normally egotistical self get all flustered.” More nods all around. Yuuri stretches with a yawn, and it sets off a chain reaction. He blinks his eyes to clear them, then states, “How about we call it a night?”

 

Another round of nodding, and everyone gets up, shuffling around the table to walk back to the hotel together.

 

Back in his room, JJ swears to himself that he will become a language genius, too.

 

Translations: Come sit with us. Why are you here? What the hell? Ahh, what a great time to eat mushrooms. Don’t worry. I know how to make a grilled cheese sandwich. I don’t know who wrote the book of love. No, no, no, it is the sun that brings us life. Do you know what he’s saying, Yuuri? Hahaha, Victor, I don’t know what you’re saying. Otabek, what’s your favorite color? I actually don’t like desks. Guys, I can travel through time. If I tried hard enough, I think I could become a dog. Everyone here is ridiculous. Yurio, you are so cute. Do you like hamsters, JJ?

**Author's Note:**

> This whole story was based on a headcanon from someone on tumblr. You can find the original post [here.](http://kkeiij.tumblr.com/post/154471619100/yoi-headcanon-where-whenever-everyone-is-together) Follow them!! And come join me on tumblr if you do so desire, [here.](http://larlypoof.tumblr.com/) Also, I only know French and English, so if you catch any weird things about the other languages. let me know! I just used a translator.


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